Living Out Loud
出典: くみこみックス
So, heres the option. We can stop here, now, and tread no further into the adventure of this lifetime, stunned into silence, by the storied fears within our heads, barren of exquisite feeling, satiated expression, and unqualified authenticity, inwardly conscious, at least at some level, of what we have forsaken with our deciding on, now and forever more, lost to this moment, this moment that only is. Or, we can walk, heads bow...
You Would Jump at Such an Chance, Wouldnt You?
So, heres the choice. We can quit here, now, and tread no additional into the adventure of this lifetime, stunned into silence, by the storied fears within our heads, barren of exquisite feeling, satiated expression, and unqualified more help authenticity, inwardly conscious, at least at some level, of what we have forsaken with our choosing, now and forever much more, lost to this moment, this moment that only is. Or, we can walk, heads bowed low, into the mystery of life, willing to embrace life with all its ups and downs, its apparent triumphs and failures, understanding that only abundant head-on, breathless, living-out-loud can satisfy. We decide on to be the expansive freedom that comes with our full consent to life, and enter into this adventure eyes wide open and raised to the heavens, our hearts laid bare upon the altar of YES.
Decision is such a loaded word, particularly when you feel you have none, immediately after all, if you felt you had a decision, you would jump at the chance for such a life, wouldnt you? Is it achievable that we really decide on lives of quiet desperation rather than choosing to step up to the plate and live life head-on, breathless, eloquently out loud?
What would it take to make such a selection? When I was imprisoned in my storied planet of fear it didnt seem like a option. It felt a lot more like a life-sentenceevent, reaction, experienceevent, reaction, experiencea giant mesmerizing revolving door. I couldnt appear to break totally free of the drama, the continuous dread of the subsequent shoe to drop. I didnt even know adequate to know that I was caught in the door, going round and round. I just thought that this merry-go-round was life. If asked, I would have told you, I would by no means have selected this!
Comfort kept me bottled up in my old patterns. The recognized is a trickster. It sneakily makes you believe that life could always be a lot worse. The pasture next door may be greener but its full of weeds and snakes and holes. The trickster says, Stay right here where it is familiar, exactly where you know the territory and what to count on. Comfort is a guardian of worry. If I wasnt so enamored of security and comfort I would have been far more willing to likelihood living life fully out loud.
Was I selecting? As considerably as the old me would hate to admit it, yes, I was. I was selecting inside a framework of worry and had no notion it was in handle. My option was unconscious, but it was selection.
As I write this, I am attempting to recall the turning point, that moment in time when life changed, when that one thing clicked into location and I was no longer willing to preserve my personal status quo, that moment when I chose the road much less traveled, and started to walk down the path to freedom. My moment of truth came when I chose to stand up against heartless treatment at perform, offering my resignation, unwilling to this site continue with the plan as it stood. The selection was conscious, even though I didnt fully recognize what generating it meant. Deciding on to live out loud becomes less complicated following the 1st excursion and victim-hood wears much heavier than ahead of.
This life lived out loud is what we all want, what we dream of, and beat ourselves unmercifully for not picking. We know we are selecting lives of quiet desperation. We know it. As considerably as we attempt, we cant hide from ourselves for long. Every single time we get that feeling in our gut that says, youre doing it once again, we know we are the ones that let ourselves down. At a deep level, I knew that even prior to I knew I was caught in the revolving door.
My life as drama seems like a life-time ago, and yet, just yesterday, I located myself tense and insensitivetied up in knots, despite the fact that a lot smaller knots, knots none-the-less. The knots didnt last. As soon as I stopped extended sufficient to see what was taking place, they dissolved with my seeing and acceptance. Nevertheless, they had found a way into the calm, wormed their way into awareness, and attempted to convince me of their worth, but again, I chose. I chose to live a life head-on, breathless, and on the edge of Gods envelope. I cant do that with shards of worry hanging from my ankles. Sometimes I have to give it a tiny kick and shake it loose, like a puppy shaking off its continued bath, wiggling from the prime of its head to the tip of its floppy tail. We can shake like that little dog and dislodge the worry that has us trapped inside its spell. All we have to do is pick and let the shaking begin.
What if a demon had been to creep immediately after you 1 night, in your loneliness, and say, This life which you reside ought to be lived by you the moment again and innumerable times a lot more and every single discomfort and joy and believed and sigh must come once more to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and once again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust! Would you throw your self down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer,Never ever have I heard anything far more divine? Friedrich Nietzsche (German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture, 1844-1900)
